To Be Cool, Or Not To Be Cool
by polydora
Summary: Meg's desperate attempt to be cool puts her Special Education classes. Please don't read if you take any offense on the topic of Special Education.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy, any of it's characters, or it's creator, Seth Macfarlane.**

**Scene appears with Meg at school, leaning against a locker and talking to a bunch of popular kids.**

"So, like I was saying, we should totally be able to wear short skirts! I mean, long skirts blow!" Meg says in a preppy voice.

Everyone nods, some saying "right on".

Suddenly Family Guy's creator, Seth Macfarlane, suddenly appears, walking up to Meg. He is in an animated "Family Guy" version.

"Meg, what the Hell are you doing? Your aren't popular," he says, then turns to look at the popular crowd before her and starts shooing them away.

"Yeah, get going!" he says and they all start shuffling away. A few of them spit on Meg.

"Yea, that's right. Spit on her. Kick her too," he adds, as one kid kicks Meg in the leg.

**Family Guy theme song plays.**

**Next scene is Meg running into the house crying. Right before she enters the kitchen Peter stops her.**

"Meg, what's wrong? Did Seth threaten you again?" Peter says, his hands on his hips.

Meg opens her mouth to speak, but then warily looks around the corner to see Seth giving her a dangerous look.

"No." Meg says quietly and glances at Seth.

Seth is holding up a bad drawing of Meg in a noose with slanted eyes.

She looks at Peter again, then back at Seth.

Seth is making stabbing motions with a knife, perfectly in Peter's view.

"Oh. Ok," Peter says and walks away into the kitchen, past Seth who has a knife and is about to kill Stewie in his exaggerated demonstration.

**Next scene. Meg is in her room, sitting on her bed, crying.**

"Why must I be so uncool!" she sobs.

Lois walks into the room.

"Meg, what's wrong?" Lois says comfortingly and sits next to Meg, rubbing her back.

"I'm not cool!" Meg sobs.

"Aw, Meg, sometimes you have to do outrageous and stupid things to be cool," Lois says, as if it's "motherly" advice.

**Flashback.**

Lois is in the basement of someone's house. She is a teenager, surrounded by other teenagers all shouting: "Lois! Lois! Lois!" She is dumping raw meats on a person in a Mascot outfit of a parrot while the teenagers are throwing bricks at her.

**Flashback ends.**

"Really?" Meg asked, looking hopefully at Lois.

"Sure! Why, when I was a kid.."

**Previous flashback repeats, then ends.**

"You know, if you'd like to be just as cool as I was, all you have to do is recycle," Lois says understandingly.

"But, Mom, what does that have to do with-" Meg starts.

"Don't start with me," Lois says sternly, dropping her motherly attitude.

**Next day.**

Meg is walking down the school hallway.

She walks past the school's popular group, who are pointing and snickering. She sighs. Then she walks past the average kids, who are following suit. She sighs. As she passes the nerds, they are doing the same, and she sighs. Finally she walks past a group of teachers, who are doing the same. She sighs.  
She walks into class and sits down at a desk. She boredly looks around the room before her mother's words pop back into her head. A small bubble appears above her head with her mother saying: "Aw, Meg, sometimes you have to do outrageous and stupid things to be cool." Meg thinks hard, two words repeating in her mind, "outrageous" and "stupid".

The teacher has already begun a lesson on algebra.

"So, what is the square root of the sume of A plus B?" he asks, turning to the class.

Meg's hand darts up.

"Yes, Meg?"

"Umm.." Meg says, the words "outrageous" and "stupid" repeating in her mind.

"Goofin' goggin' googin'!" Meg exclaims, her eyes going crosseyed and her arms making odd jerking motions.

The class is silent while Meg looks around nervously, hoping for a spark of amusement.

Suddenly the whole class (even the teacher) break out into hysterical laughter. Meg smiles.

**Next scene.**

Meg is at lunch in a new, better table with her newly made friends. They are the average crowd.

"Hey, Meg, do it again!" one shouts.

"Goofin' goggin' googin'!" Meg exclaims again, repeating the same odd motions as she had done in class.

They all laugh.

"Boy, Meg, you're hilarious. You should do stand-up comedy. Because I'd stand up for you!" a boy says, ending the last bit like a great punchline.

A boy next to him pats his shoulder sympathetically, saying: "No, Ralph, no."

"Yeah, no one can say it like Meg!" a girl says.

"Yeah!" everyone shouts in agreement.

**Next scene.**

It is later that night at dinner. Meg is in midstory.

"-so, I did this- Goofin' goggin' googin'!" Meg exclaims just as before.

Everyone stares unamusedly, except for Peter, who is laughing hysterically.

"I've seen more amusing things in Lois's cooking," Brian says cynically.

There is a silence at the table, while Lois glares at Brian.

"That hurt," she says.

"Oh, my, you've burned her! To the core!" Stewie exclaims in a "fashionable" voice.

Lois changes the subject, looking at Meg.

"Well, I'm glad you've found a way to make friends. But didn't I suggest you recycle?" Lois says, slightly irritated.

"Recyclings for losers. Meg should do it," Peter says unemotionally.

"Good God- Someone get out the hose! You've grilled her like two eggs on a frying pan!" Stewie shouts again.

"But I don't want to recycle. The cool kids don't," Meg says.

"Now, that's not true, Meg. I see plenty of hip kids your age recycling," Lois says.

"Only the juvenile delinquents. They do it for community service," Meg says.

"Oh.." Lois says.

**Flashback.**

Lois is driving past a group of kids doing community service, all recycling in a local park.

"Keep up the good work!" Lois shouts from the car.

As she drives off, the kids start shouting statements of agreement, getting out guns and running into a local shop.

**Flashback ends.**

**End.**

** _I'll admit, not as good as my first one, but I tried. Please enjoy! R&R!_  
**


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